Interpersonal wounds or relational trauma

Folks seeking therapy are often struggling with their relationships with others - in ways that reveal their struggles with their relationship with themselves - which in turn echoes old developmental wounds with primary caregivers. Beliefs like: I don't belong here. I'm too much. I have to do everything myself. If I'm honest about who I am, others will ridicule or manipulate me. I have to choose between my freedom and the happiness of others. I'll never be good enough to be fully included. If I'm a strong adult, I'll never receive care and support.

Many people come into my practice with self-awareness around the relational beliefs they hold - and wonder, what now? I love working experientially to help clients discover the hard-earned wisdom and purpose of these relational beliefs (their self-protection or protection of others) - and also - the limitations of these beliefs in the here and now. The various protective strategies we all developed during childhood are often depleting, isolating, and stress-inducing when repeated in adulthood. Therapy includes exploring what new, creative possibilities exist beyond these exhausting, habitual ways of relating - with others and with ourselves.

Sexual trauma histories

Many of my clients hold sexual trauma histories and struggle with intrusive flashbacks, avoidant ways of managing trauma reminders, and deeply entrenched self-blame. The values I hold for approaching this brave work include attuning and listening with great care, collaborating around if, when, and how to venture towards this material together, attending closely to their window of tolerance (moment to moment), and metabolizing these experiences in small, manageable pieces with the support of parts work and somatic therapy. Over time, this work can restore a sense of safety in their body and trust in themselves.

Death anxiety & health anxiety

I work with cancer survivors, folks with chronic illness and autoimmune diseases, and people who have awakened to their own mortality (often through the loss of someone in their lives). Wanting to control or bargain about the future often surfaces in our work. Planning for the future in the face of many unknowns can be scary and paralyzing. We can’t stare at the sun for long without blinding ourselves. We can only glance at it. Similarly, we can glance at illness and death together - rather than turning away completely. When we do this glancing (together), we tend to stop sweating trivial matters, deepen our connections and appreciations, and live more fully in the present.

Cultural dissonance & belonging struggles

I work with sensitive, passionate people who are navigating an injured sense of belonging in a polarized world. This includes first- or second-generation immigrants, LGBTQIA+ folks, and adults who come from families with different belief systems and ways of moving through the world. Folks are often quietly (or not so quietly) living with the psychological weight of feeling like a stranger in the world, or the strain of being caught between two or more worlds — the outsider within. I bring cultural humility and deep listening to this tender work. And I love helping clients feel more embodied and connected to all parts of themselves, while also making peace with the rough, unpredictable world, without turning away from it.

Parenting & isolation

So many new parents feel isolated, tightly contained, enraged, anxious, or depressed. The before times feel like a mere story now. The village is missing in action too much of the time. And the responsibility to show up in a good enough way for our children is a heavy load. Add on the complexity of raising your particular child - whether it’s navigating neurodiversity, health issues, facing racism or xenophobia, living with rigid gender norms in our culture - it is a lot to hold. Too much to hold on our own. And it is an act of love toward others and ourselves to seek support and connection.

If this sounds like you, reach out.