I specialize in working with adults who worry more than they'd like to, are stuck in repeating conflict with loved ones, have histories of trauma, or are struggling with loneliness.
ARE YOU FEELING ANXIOUS, NERVOUS, worried, SCARED, OR PARALYZED?
Anxiety and fear can keep us safe from harm: toxic exes might be texting, clients or bosses might be grumpy, toddlers might be eating subway grime, and partners might forget to get that important document notarized. But worry, fear, and self-doubt can also get in the way of our biggest dreams. I often hear clients say:
Why haven't I become financially successful yet, maybe I should be working harder, other people I know are moving ahead in their careers, maybe I should go to grad school, everyone is getting hitched but me, is my partner cheating on me, will I become just like my [dreaded family member] if I become a parent, what if I go to that party and there's no one there that I know, does my family think I'm a cold-hearted [expletive] when I don't drop everything to talk to them?
Anxiety eats away at your sleep, interrupts every quiet moment you have to yourself, and controls your behavior. We will explore where it's coming from and learn about what it's trying to express to you. We will gently work towards releasing your vise grip on unrealistic expectations, find ways to soothe and comfort your soul, and tune in to what you really want from life in the present and the future.
ARE YOU arguing WITH YOUR SPOUSE, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, ex, PARENTS, IN-LAWS, OR KIDS... WAY MORE THAN YOU'D LIKE?
Maybe you're going through a big change. Maybe your partner can't seem to hear you. Or maybe you're struggling with saying No to your family or friends. I believe it's possible to move through conflict and grow from it. Life transitions—starting from scratch in a new city, moving in together, going back to school, jumping into a new career, getting married, planning for a new addition to the family, trying to talk to your suddenly teenaged child, breaking up, getting a divorce, dating again, dealing with losses—create stress and conflict. I often hear clients say:
Yeah, but really, they are the problem, so maybe they should go to therapy...
It only takes one person to change a relationship or a family. Do you want to pass the buck or take the bull by the horns? We will collaborate to help you feel more empowered, develop skills to get your needs met, practice ways to communicate calmly and assertively, and get clear about how to set and maintain boundaries that feel good to you. We will also work together on your journey towards deeper intimacy, mutual understanding, trusting commitment, and authentic connection with those whom you love most.
is past trauma creeping up in ways that are disrupting your life?
There's no such thing as a trauma-free life. Whether you've experienced physical, sexual, or verbal abuse, have family members with trauma in their past, or have cultural roots that include generations of trauma, we are all survivors of something. Many of us experience an unconscious pull to repeat or recreate old situations—in a quest to master them. We may be affected by trauma in ways that we don't even realize: jumping at the sound of a car horn, experiencing sudden, intense anger when a loved one makes a seemingly innocent comment, jerking away from certain touches, avoiding a particular neighborhood, or snapping at your child unintentionally. I often hear clients say:
But I'm fine. I've got it covered... most of the time.
We're fine until we're not. Until life forces us to look at that thing again. That thing that just won't go away. So maybe we can dip a toe in and, at your pace, look (or glance) at it together? Therapy with me is a gentle process of uncovering old patterns, identifying triggers, developing healthy soothing methods, and working towards self-acceptance and self-love. There's no quick fix, but we can free ourselves of behaviors that prevent us from living the lives that we truly want. I have deep respect for your personal experience of trauma, and understand that trust needs to be earned slowly over time. I will honor your inner wisdom in our work together, and create a space where we can dialogue about what approaches work specifically for you.
are you feeling lonely, isolated, disconnected, or left out?
You might feel most alone when you're with someone you love, if you're not feeling connected to them. Or with a group of people, if you're not feeling included. Or you might feel fine when you're with others, but dread weekends that aren't planned out or weekdays that include quiet time... because they give you the time and the space to feel that pang. You might wish that spending time alone didn't feel so crappy. You might compulsively date because it's hard to spend a night alone. You might not reach out to friends because you're worried that they don't really like you or won't respond. I often hear clients say:
Even the idea of connecting to others is scary. But feeling alone sucks.
For some people, loneliness is overwhelmingly felt within groups. For others, one-on-one interactions are the most intimidating. For a lot of people, spending time alone is absolutely the pits. We will explore what makes spending time with others feel isolating and silencing, or pressure-filled and performative. We can also wonder about what makes spending time alone challenging for you. Therapy with me will reveal emotional blocks that get in the way of developing the kind of intimacy that you want in your life. We will work on building connections with others in a way that feels good to you. It won't always be comfortable or easy. But it will bring you relief and make your life more fun. And you don't have to do it alone.
i also have extensive experience with:
Work-life balance struggles
Self-esteem & self-confidence
College stressors—academic & social
Dating in NYC
Loss & grief